Healing Money Trauma

Historically receiving money has been associated with pain for me. I didn’t realize it until now.

Working for money. Earning money. Asking for money. Struggling, fighting, and grabbing money has all been an unpleasant, painful, torturous experience. That makes me feel sad.

The feeling had been so deeply ingrained in my unconscious; hiding there and sabotaging my desire to have, attract, and magnetize more money.

The block has been, money is hard and horrible to get, receive, and accept. It came from a resentful, fearful place.

I felt this resentment and fear in my family. It was in the spoken and unspoken moments. It was also in fundraising, tithing, and anything associated with the church. It was mixed messages and hypocrisy.

Seeing Money for What it Really Is

Wow! This simple tool of exchange was made into this god, idol, and decider of fates. Yikes and yuck!

I could never see the good in having more much less receiving more so I only allowed myself to have just enough. Ugh!!

I felt undeserving because it felt like my father begrudged it and my mother hoarded it. They fought over it, denied us of it because of beliefs they latched on too instilled by the church and society. Their poverty story was pervasive, his more than hers. To add insult to injury they didn’t bother to learn about it.

I have done better in the money space with making more and learning about it but it had been painful. I can’t remember a day or time when I felt happy, gleeful, or pleasure from making money.

The narrative of suffering in exchange for money ran deep. Up until now I have associated money with pain so to avoid the pain I avoid money.

My attempts to make money in my business feels disconnected. As much as I love creating and sharing my work I haven’t been able to bridge it to money even though I know my work is valuable.

The narrative changes now that I know the root of my issue.

Money is not the problem.

The problem is the feeling I’ve associated with money of pain, suffering, displeasure, and labor. I made money hard to magnetize to me because I felt the negative feelings around how I get it. If getting money makes me feel anxious, resentful, tired, and used then I end up repelling it.

I’m sorry I didn’t see or know this sooner. I guess I subconsciously did but it was not in my awareness until now. That’s great! Now I can change the narrative and create new, pleasurable scenarios for attracting, allowing, and receiving money.

I will welcome money into my life through pleasurable ways. My thoughts are changing. My actions will align with the wonderful activities that attract money and prosperity.

Experimenting With the Energy of Money

As an experiment, I will do what feels good to me as a means to attract money. I align myself with people who love giving me money. They tell me how much they love giving me money just for being me. They are generous and get delight from giving to me.

The people who begrudged me money no longer come around me. Their story is not my story.

I’m thankful for this gift of awareness. New level unlocked 🙌🙌!!