There’s nothing more dangerous than a relationship built on manipulation, gaslighting, and control. I know this firsthand. I once found myself trapped in an abusive marriage, one that promised security but delivered trauma. I was vulnerable, desperate for stability, and willing to overlook red flags until I was fully ensnared.
America, too, is trapped in an abusive relationship—only this time, it’s not with a single person but with a political machine that thrives on deception, coercion, and control. Under Donald Trump’s second term, propped up by tech titans Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg, the country has become entangled in a toxic web of authoritarianism, corporate greed, and mass manipulation.
This is the anatomy of a toxic relationship—whether personal, political, or technological.
The Seduction: Promises of Security and Power
When I met my ex-husband, his smile seemed like sunshine. He seemed like a safe place, someone who would help me manage the chaos of single motherhood, school, and work. In reality, I was exhausted and vulnerable, desperate for someone to share the burden. That desperation made me ignore all the warning signs.
America has walked the same path. When Trump first took office in 2016, many were desperate for change, for a leader who promised to “drain the swamp” and restore economic and cultural power to those who felt left behind. By 2024, his reelection campaign capitalized on that same desperation—only now, the machine had evolved.
This time, Trump’s political comeback was reinforced by Silicon Valley’s biggest power players. Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg, two of the most influential tech CEOs in the world, became enablers of the new authoritarian playbook. Musk’s control over Twitter (now X) and Zuckerberg’s stranglehold on social media platforms created an environment where propaganda flourished, misinformation thrived, and dissenting voices were algorithmically silenced.
Trump, like any skilled manipulator, understood the power of tech to control the narrative. And his allies in Musk and Zuckerberg ensured that millions of Americans were locked in an echo chamber of deception, unable to see the red flags staring them in the face.
Gaslighting and Control: Twisting Reality to Stay in Power
Abusers thrive on gaslighting—making their victims question their own reality, their instincts, and even their sanity. My ex mastered this technique. After he assaulted me, he made me believe it was my fault. He convinced me that if I had just done things differently, been better, been more submissive, then none of it would have happened. That level of psychological warfare leaves a person unable to trust themselves.
Trump’s administration, aided by Musk’s X (Twitter) and Zuckerberg’s Meta (Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp), weaponized this same strategy on a national scale.
- Denying reality – From election fraud lies to COVID conspiracies, the administration and its tech enablers bombarded the public with conflicting narratives until truth became irrelevant.
- Rewriting history – January 6th? A peaceful protest. Trump’s impeachments? Witch hunts.
- Blaming the victim – Whistleblowers, marginalized communities, and anyone questioning power became “traitors” or “fake news.”
The result? A nation where millions of people, much like abuse victims, began to distrust their own perception of reality.
Isolation: Silencing Dissenting Voices
One of the most dangerous things an abuser can do is isolate their victim—cut them off from friends, family, and resources that could help them escape. My ex did this by making me doubt my support system, ensuring that I had no one to turn to when things got bad.
Trump’s political engine used technology to achieve the same goal.
- Musk’s X selectively promoted right-wing voices while deplatforming journalists and critics.
- Meta’s algorithms suppressed dissenting narratives while amplifying conspiracy theories that benefited the administration.
- AI-powered censorship ensured that only “approved” narratives gained traction in online spaces.
By controlling communication channels, Trump and his tech allies ensured that a significant portion of the population remained locked in a bubble where dissent was demonized and alternative perspectives were unreachable.
Escalating Abuse: When Power is Threatened, Violence Follows
In the final months of my toxic marriage, things got worse. The more I resisted, the more violent and unpredictable my ex became. He sensed he was losing control, and instead of letting go, he escalated his abuse.
The same pattern played out in America.
As Trump faced opposition, his administration leaned further into authoritarian tactics:
- Political opponents faced legal harassment under new government directives.
- Dissenting voices were doxxed and harassed online, thanks to Musk’s changes in platform moderation.
- Protesters were met with state-sanctioned violence, as police crackdowns on “anti-MAGA” demonstrations became the norm.
By 2025, America wasn’t just in a toxic relationship—it was in a full-blown domestic hostage situation.
Breaking Free: The Hardest, Most Necessary Step
Leaving an abusive relationship isn’t easy. It takes a level of courage that seems impossible when you’re in the thick of it. I had to plan my escape carefully, regain my self-worth, and trust that life outside of the abuse was worth fighting for.
America now faces that same moment of reckoning. The people, the institutions, and the democracy itself must decide whether they will continue tolerating this abuse or finally break free.
The path forward is the same whether personal or political:
- Recognize the abuse – Acknowledge that what is happening is not normal and not okay.
- Reject the abuser’s narrative – Stop accepting revisionist history, propaganda, and blatant manipulation.
- Rebuild trust – Strengthen democratic institutions, support independent journalism, and demand transparency.
- Set firm boundaries – Regulate tech power, break up monopolies, and hold leaders accountable.
- Prioritize healing – Both individually and nationally, we must process the trauma and commit to never allowing this cycle to repeat.
The Warning: Never Fall for the Same Lies Again
The biggest danger after leaving an abusive relationship is falling into another one. If you don’t heal, if you don’t learn to recognize the patterns, you’ll end up with a new abuser who looks different but operates the same way.
America stands at this crossroads. Will we break free and build something healthier, more just, and truly great? Or will we fall back into the same cycle, with a new abuser promising us salvation?
The choice is ours. And if we don’t make the right one, we’ll be right back in the arms of another manipulator, wondering how we got there yet again.
Take Back Your Power – It’s Time to Break Free
Just like America must wake up to the cycle of deception and control, so must we in our personal lives. If you’ve ever found yourself trapped in a toxic relationship—whether with a partner, a boss, or even your own limiting beliefs—it’s time to break free.
I wrote No More Crumbs: How to Stop Dating (and Mating) for Crumbs and Get the Cake You Deserve in 10 Crucial Steps to help women recognize, reject, and recover from toxic relationships. If you’ve ever been manipulated, gaslit, or made to feel like you weren’t worthy of more, this book is your roadmap to healing, reclaiming your power, and finally getting what you deserve.
Don’t wait for someone else to hand you the life you want—it’s time to take it for yourself.